I have to take umbridge with one patron of the bar last weekend...
This starts as I'm in the the middle of my set. I'm having an OK night, with there being no real highs so far. The crowd is into it, but despite my best efforts with the hits of the moment, they're not at that "10" that I feel like I can get them to. But I'm not sweating it - there's still a ton of time left in the night and I haven't gotten to my big anthems yet. So I notice a girl directly in front of me and she seems to be talking to her boyfriend (or at least what seems like her bf). There's a wall of glass in front of me, so I can't hear what she's saying but she has that look of "I need to talk to the DJ." In most cases, you never want to see the "I need to talk to the DJ." Whenever someone intoxicated "needs" to do something, there's a problem there. When you're drunk, the line between "need" and "want" is a little skewed. Also, the determination to fulfill needs is a little bit of a wild-card. So this girl comes up to me and I see the boyfriend there and I don't know his mental state so I give her the "1 minute" sign. I want to give her a second to rest and maybe forget what she wants to say. (Yes, this technique has worked in the past.) While I do that, Girl X starts talking to my well-dressed DJ assistant who is out with me for the first time. Girl X makes the points that:1 - This music is old and we here at the bar do not like that stuff.
2 - This is M Street, and old music has no place here.
3 - She has lived in DC for 4 years and, therefore, she is qualified to give an opinion on how I do my job.
4 - She is on the verge of leaving.I'm not sure how Boyfriend X is going to react me telling his girlfriend that if I had one wish it would be that we were all standing on a fault line and that the world opened up and she was thrown into a world of brontosori and Sleestaks. Aside from that, hammered people never play nice. I play it cool. Issue 1: This music is old and we here at the bar do not like that stuff.
What I said: Ok.
Translation: You're completely wrong. You (singular) may not like this song/stuff, but you (plural) love the old stuff. Rihanna's "Umbrella" is 5 years old at this point. Bon Jovi's best material is pushing 20 years (if not already), "Don't Stop Believing" came out in 1981. You (plural) love those songs and eat it up with a spoon when I play them. The songs aren't going away. The song you're hearing now "The Call (Remix)" by The Backstreet Boys may not fall into the same category as the songs I've just listed, but this song is old and dated enough that I have no regrets in playing it. It's got a fairly modern sound for a song made 10 years ago. It has Malice from The Clipse rapping about 1,000 spokes on a Gold Impala, in a flow that resembles nothing that he does today. It's a strange song that captures the Napster era perfectly: one of the biggest groups, Neptunes production, a remix that everyone stole but no one bought. I have no problem letting people go back to their apartments later and finding it on their old mix cd or trying to steal it again on LimeWire. And, Girl X, if you would turn around you would see that there are 40 people behind you dancing and singing along. Issue 2: This is M Street, and old music has no place here.
What I said: Ok.
Translation: Despite your lack of understanding for causal relationships, your geography is correct. This is M Street, which, in terms of cultural impact, is more significant for its touristy nonsense and lack of metro stop. I have enough sense of where and when music is breaking through to the masses to know that M Street in DC is not on the short list of Bleeding Edge streets - where the music needs to be produced within the past month in order to be considered even worth playing. Maybe if we were in a club further downtown or in New York... or Vegas... LA... DC is just not that crowd. And that's fine! It's just the way it is - we're a busy set of people who work in government, for the most part. We, as a collective, don't have the time to be on to the next one. If you're in the group of people who does have time: 1) get a hobby, or, 2) go somewhere else that can service your needs. Issue 3: She has lived in DC for 4 years and, therefore, she is qualified to give an opinion on how I do my job.
What I said: That doesn't make sense.
Translation: If your 4 years gives you authority, then does my 7 give me Super Authority, or is it like a bell curve where I have no authority at the early stage (1-2 years), gain authority (3-5 years), then lose it again (6-7 years). [Or it could be on a wave-pattern and I'm on the rise again! Woohoo!] Regardless, you're not an expert on going out. I don't care how many times you have gone out, I am out in the bar/club from opening to close, every weekend. Sometimes twice a weekend. I can log as much as 13 hours in a bar in a two-day span. That's a long time considering that two back-to-back days of 10p-2:30a is only 4.5 hours. You'd have to go out 3 days in a row from 10p-2:30a to get to 13.5 hours and then do that every weekend for a month. That's where I derive MY expertise on the musical selection for the evening. And no, you're not qualified to DJ because if you were, you'd be out making money and not getting hammered and bothering me tonght. Issue 4: She is on the verge of leaving.
What I said: So?
Translation: If you really don't like being somewhere, or it's uncomfortable, or you have to take your talents to South Beach, just do it. Go home. Go to another bar. It's fine! No one's going to hold it against you or be mad. In fact, we'll be happy than a Grumpy Gus is leaving and you'll be happier that you don't have to deal with my crappy taste in music! So no one cares if you go away and don't come back. In fact, I prefer it. That way, I don't have to listen to you come up and complain to me.
* * *
I just want to know where people get the gall to come up to me as I am working, and tell me, with no metrics, facts or sensibilities, that I am doing a bad job. At this point, if I'm doing a bad job, I know it. "Peanut Gallery" commentary and a lack of respect is not going to get anyone anywhere. It's only going to make me bitter and reflect poorly on you.
