I try to be accommodating to everyone who puts in a request but if there’s one thing that’s true, I don’t make promises. It’s just the way it is. I think it’s a really crappy show of character for you to make a promise and then break it. Not just that, but when you do make a promise to someone, you’ve devalued your word. And if Tony Montana has taught us anything, it’s that all we have in the this world is his balls and his word. (Or something like that.) I tend to only make promises to my mom. Why? Because a) she birthed me and she’s earned it; and, b) I know I’m going to keep them. So many times, stuff gets in the way of getting things done and all of a sudden you’ve messed up on a promise. No one wants that. That brings us to this weekend for when Girl X came up to me and asked for some terrible song. I can’t remember what it was, but I either legitimately didn’t have it or there was no way I was going to play it. Either way, this particular song wasn’t going to get played and I told her so. ...“BUT IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!” she says hammeredly.
“Not this kind of Hammered”There’s two things that crossed my mind when she told me that it was her birthday and that she deserved to have her request granted:
1- I don’t care.
2- It’s my birthday.**It was technically the day after my birthday, but considering I had people wishing me a Happy Birthday 5 days after it’s happened, it’s pretty much the same thing. So I give her the look of “I don’t care” and tell her I don’t make promises, to which she responds, “you should work on that.”I have worked on that! That’s precisely why I don’t make promises. Aside from the fact that your request sucks, I’m working here and you, Girl X, are not. If things go wrong with your song request and people think I suck, it affects you nothing. I have everything to lose, nothing to gain. For future reference, if I say I don’t make promises, it might happen, it might not. It’s all about how I’m judging the situation. It’s nothing personal. And it’s my birthday. So, if the rule of birthdays is that “all requests are granted,” I could grant your request, and then nullify it with my “request” of not hearing your request. It’s like fighting fire with more fire!* *This never made any sense to me. You fight fire with water. Fighting fire with fire is never going to get anyone anywhere.
What happens when fighting fire with fire.So she goes away, I promise to give her a shout out.. whatever. Her friend comes by 5 minutes later: “HeycanyougiveashoutouttoGIRLX!!??”...yes, it’s going to be one of those nights. # # #Girl X comes back about 10 minutes after that, asking now for “Paper Planes.” FIne. I can do that one. ... “AND CAN YOU GIVE ME A SHOUT OUT?!” “YES I’M GOING TO SAY YOUR NAME OVER THE EFFING LOUDSPEAKER!!! GO AWAY!!” So I play “Paper Planes” and say her name over the loud speaker. And as I’m doing it, I look down and what do I see? I see her and her drunken friends taking a series of awful photos. Girl X is yelling. Friend X is directing traffic. Girl X is lowering her chin in all her photos, which is my number 1 pet peeve and not endearing me to her. But the upshot of all this chaos is that there is no way in hell this girl is hearing me say her name. This is just how things work! I acquiesce to an annoying chick and what happens? I get grief. Because I know it’s likely that one of two scenarios is going to play itself out: 1) as soon as this song is halfway over, Girl X is going to come over here, ask why I hadn’t said her name. She is going to get mad when I say that I already did. Then she’ll walk away, all angry at me for doing exactly what she asked me to do. And then probably come back and bother me about something else later. 2) She’ll wait until the song is completely over and then continue with the rest of Scenario 1. Obviously, it happens EXACTLY like that. So she comes back later, asking for a Britney song that wasn’t good when it was fresh, and now just sounds dated from a summer ago. Again, I’m not going to play it, mostly because I don’t want to, but also because I’m not a jukebox. You can’t stuff quarters into me and expect me to just play your song. I’ve refused tips on principle because these people were paying me to play their music, not tipping me because they liked what I was doing. And this girl ain’t even tipping me! She’s just being drunk and awful and wasting my time. But now she’s got enough momentum behind her that she doesn’t want to leave me alone - which is not going to end well for anyone. # # # I really don’t care that it’s your birthday. Every weekend is someone’s birthday. It’s just the way the world works. People are born ALL THE TIME. And many times, when folks are 21-35ish (curve skewed left), people go out for their birthday to the club or the bar, where DJ Feenix is! (Yay for me!) So it’s not a big deal to me that you have YOUR birthday. And you know what? Birthdays, when you get older, are supposed to be kinda wack. The best birthdays you ever had were before the age of 21. When you got that first bike - holy cow that was awesome. Or went to Canobie Lake Park - you nearly lost your mind riding the Cannonball. THAT is what a birthday is supposed to be. Because eventually, when your parents stop giving a crap and you made it to 26 and you’re going to get out of your mind drunk... that’s it. You gotta find the happiness elsewhere. The actions alone are the proof. I went and smoked cigars in a comfortable t-shirt on my birthday, hung out with my friends and ate pizza. I enjoyed my night but it’s not the end-all, be-all. This is life and we don’t deserve anything as adults on our birthday. Rewards are living a just life - making good decisions - working hard and earning your place in society. If someone bakes you a cake, or a pie, be grateful and humble. Enjoy the desert and look at the person who made it for you and realize that the gift is the care that the person put into cake/pie, not the cake/pie itself. If I happen to play Your Birthday Request, what is next? Likely, another request. Because it’s 3 minutes of unsustainable happiness. Find the happiness in the people around you and live every day like its your birthday.
“Not this kind of Hammered”There’s two things that crossed my mind when she told me that it was her birthday and that she deserved to have her request granted:
1- I don’t care.
2- It’s my birthday.**It was technically the day after my birthday, but considering I had people wishing me a Happy Birthday 5 days after it’s happened, it’s pretty much the same thing. So I give her the look of “I don’t care” and tell her I don’t make promises, to which she responds, “you should work on that.”I have worked on that! That’s precisely why I don’t make promises. Aside from the fact that your request sucks, I’m working here and you, Girl X, are not. If things go wrong with your song request and people think I suck, it affects you nothing. I have everything to lose, nothing to gain. For future reference, if I say I don’t make promises, it might happen, it might not. It’s all about how I’m judging the situation. It’s nothing personal. And it’s my birthday. So, if the rule of birthdays is that “all requests are granted,” I could grant your request, and then nullify it with my “request” of not hearing your request. It’s like fighting fire with more fire!* *This never made any sense to me. You fight fire with water. Fighting fire with fire is never going to get anyone anywhere.
What happens when fighting fire with fire.So she goes away, I promise to give her a shout out.. whatever. Her friend comes by 5 minutes later: “HeycanyougiveashoutouttoGIRLX!!??”...yes, it’s going to be one of those nights. # # #Girl X comes back about 10 minutes after that, asking now for “Paper Planes.” FIne. I can do that one. ... “AND CAN YOU GIVE ME A SHOUT OUT?!” “YES I’M GOING TO SAY YOUR NAME OVER THE EFFING LOUDSPEAKER!!! GO AWAY!!” So I play “Paper Planes” and say her name over the loud speaker. And as I’m doing it, I look down and what do I see? I see her and her drunken friends taking a series of awful photos. Girl X is yelling. Friend X is directing traffic. Girl X is lowering her chin in all her photos, which is my number 1 pet peeve and not endearing me to her. But the upshot of all this chaos is that there is no way in hell this girl is hearing me say her name. This is just how things work! I acquiesce to an annoying chick and what happens? I get grief. Because I know it’s likely that one of two scenarios is going to play itself out: 1) as soon as this song is halfway over, Girl X is going to come over here, ask why I hadn’t said her name. She is going to get mad when I say that I already did. Then she’ll walk away, all angry at me for doing exactly what she asked me to do. And then probably come back and bother me about something else later. 2) She’ll wait until the song is completely over and then continue with the rest of Scenario 1. Obviously, it happens EXACTLY like that. So she comes back later, asking for a Britney song that wasn’t good when it was fresh, and now just sounds dated from a summer ago. Again, I’m not going to play it, mostly because I don’t want to, but also because I’m not a jukebox. You can’t stuff quarters into me and expect me to just play your song. I’ve refused tips on principle because these people were paying me to play their music, not tipping me because they liked what I was doing. And this girl ain’t even tipping me! She’s just being drunk and awful and wasting my time. But now she’s got enough momentum behind her that she doesn’t want to leave me alone - which is not going to end well for anyone. # # # I really don’t care that it’s your birthday. Every weekend is someone’s birthday. It’s just the way the world works. People are born ALL THE TIME. And many times, when folks are 21-35ish (curve skewed left), people go out for their birthday to the club or the bar, where DJ Feenix is! (Yay for me!) So it’s not a big deal to me that you have YOUR birthday. And you know what? Birthdays, when you get older, are supposed to be kinda wack. The best birthdays you ever had were before the age of 21. When you got that first bike - holy cow that was awesome. Or went to Canobie Lake Park - you nearly lost your mind riding the Cannonball. THAT is what a birthday is supposed to be. Because eventually, when your parents stop giving a crap and you made it to 26 and you’re going to get out of your mind drunk... that’s it. You gotta find the happiness elsewhere. The actions alone are the proof. I went and smoked cigars in a comfortable t-shirt on my birthday, hung out with my friends and ate pizza. I enjoyed my night but it’s not the end-all, be-all. This is life and we don’t deserve anything as adults on our birthday. Rewards are living a just life - making good decisions - working hard and earning your place in society. If someone bakes you a cake, or a pie, be grateful and humble. Enjoy the desert and look at the person who made it for you and realize that the gift is the care that the person put into cake/pie, not the cake/pie itself. If I happen to play Your Birthday Request, what is next? Likely, another request. Because it’s 3 minutes of unsustainable happiness. Find the happiness in the people around you and live every day like its your birthday.
